Welcome Back Kotter

Okay.......so it's been a little while, and it looks like I've got a little bit of housekeeping to take care of. Quick aside, is it really all that bad to end sentences with prepositions? Please, let your thoughts be known. Otherwise, without further ado:

• Marin - please turn in your Friends of San Diego card. I can't believe you're not backing the Pads!? It's not about being right, it's about our illustrious town. Remember the fever of the NLCS when they busted through the impenetrable? Only to be swept by the horrible Yankees? (Yankees: I'll never be impressed by a team who just buys the best players with a wallet that dwarfs the second most expensive team in the league.)
• Liquid Spirit - great to see you in the comments section. Now resurrect your blog from the ashes so we can retire off your ad revenue.
• I'm back from the Santos wedding in Maui. I thought I would blog about the trip, but I think I'll put that off just a bit longer....
• Surf Fest XII is tomorrow, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (Monday? Ball.). Surf is flat and I have no costume........nothing new there.
• Had my 36th birthday. Had a blast, bought a new Taylor Made r7 driver, and got a $50 gift card to iTunes. Send in your suggestions for must have albums.

I just spell checked this entry, and the spell checker had a problem with the word "blog." Huh?

Aramis Ramirez

What's that? I can't hear you.....I think Aramis just blasted one into the seats at Wrigley off my favorite run-producer, ex-Giant B. Tomko. Anyhow, that puts our powerful Padres .5 games back of the NL West leading Dodgers. Tomorrow night it's Fat Man v. Maddux, and I'll be there!

Inexcusable

Unless I'm in the 'boys' room at a Junior High School, I really shouldn't ever go into a stall and look down at the toilet to find some guy's warm piss all over the seat. But it happens more than you'd think. Why is this?

I think we all, at one time or another (and then this marks the last time), have tried to thread the needle of the toilet seat with our urine laser. Still, what's the real payoff here anyway? If you should happen to not splatter your liquid waste all over the seat, yippee! You're just where you'd have been had you lifted the seat. And of course, we all know that it's actually impossible to not get some part of the stream on the seat. Ever stood next to a waterfall? Case closed.

But let's get back to where this post started: I all-to-often walk into a men's stall to.....well, um...you know (read: drop a deuce), and the toilet seat is down and there is piss all over it. Not to scold or reprimand; not to harangue or otherwise accost the previous visitor, I just want to see who this guy is. I mean, who is he? Really?

Why, first of all, is he peeing standing up in the sit-down crapper? For this example, I am excluding any restroom where this is the only choice, or has limited standing urinals. So why is he afraid to stand with the other boys, and just take care of his business. As an aside, I am always amused by the guys who basically shove their parts into and up against the inside of the urinal, so that no one can see them (because in secret, we are all in there to see each other's dodes).

Moving on, if a man wants to pee standing up in his own personal box, with the door locked, so be it. Why can't he lift the seat though. Kick it up with your shoe if you're a germaphobe whose neuroses drive you to believe that you're actually avoiding germs by not touching the seat. And then leave it up if you want. I don't care. I just don't like having to wipe up another man's piss. Call me crazy, I've just never been into it.

Laterz....

Well, it's almost time. Time to board a jet plane bound for the middle of the Pacific. Time to wander around the tippy-top of an underwater mountain, and just look around for my next place to nap. Time to unwind. Time to play a little golf. Time to get away from work, the phone, the beat up alley, the crazy drivers of LA, (I just realized that the list of LA negatives is long and cliche), so I guess I'll just end it with: time for a litte "ME time."

To all my co-workers - it's been nice knowing you.
To my friends and family back in the States - come visit or else I guess I'll see you at Christmas.

The Shack

Radio Shack has always been a pretty spooky store for me. Anytime I've been in there, I'm immediately hit with the thought: "How do they stay in business?" Unless you need something random, they're prices aren't good. Anyhow, I caught this headline and it didn't do much for improving my perception.

Jailbird

If this guy goes to prison, are others going to play nice with him? I'd actually like to hear him justify his appearance on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list in relation to his being a prophet of God. I understand he was pulled over in a Red Cadillac Escalade filled with cellphones, laptops, 3 wigs, over $50k in cash, and other 'on-the-run' paraphenalia. Kinda sounds like he was working overtime...doesn't he know that all prophets are allowed one 30 minute and two fifteen minutes breaks per 8 hour shift?

Underpaid?

This year, Tiger Woods is averaging $2,512 for every stroke of a golf ball.

Bells, and even Bigger Bells

I just walked through the alley on my way to the closest, and trustiest Postal box. In my hands, a check to the company that financed my Civic. Why are you so nosy?

Anyhow, in one of the garages in the alley was a guy working out. When I first walked by and looked inside b/c I'm even nosier than you, he was down doing push-ups with workout gloves on. I first noticed the black leather workout gloves, nice touch. But then I realized this guy was, in essence, cranking out push-ups in public!

And I thought to myself: "Bells."

I can't workout like that. People just start coming up to me with stuff like, "wow, what's your technique to get so chiseled and ripped?" I mean, I'll share the wealth of my advice with those less fortunate, but give a guy some privacy to get yoked, won't you!

Recent Brain Killing

• Just finished Season 1 of "Huff," and I'm totally addicted.
• Still contemplating finishing Season 1 of "24." Initially it sucked me right in, and then I realized I was watching "Knight Rider, MacGyver, Airwolf, A Team"-ish programming.
• Just about to take my hot tea and start Season 1 of the English version of "The Office."
• This past weekend I watched "Girl in the Cafe." I recommend, not highly, but not lowly.
• Just checked in on the Friars, and in typical SD fashion, they're tanking.

Unrelated to brain killing, why do some people admit to crimes they didn't commit. When I was a child, I vehemently denied things that I obviously did.

I Can't Stands No More!

This headline makes me want to vomit. Who rips off Grandma!?? Grandma makes cookies and let's you get away with shit your parents won't; so we're not supposed to go ripping her off in her old age. Understood?

Harumph!

Is Big Government to blame....?

Mr. Positive

Not that I want to post too many cynical, depressing, news/political posts, but I must follow-up on the Hezbollah-Israel ceasefire.

• Is this really supposed to work?
  
• The Lebanese army is going to contain Hezbollah, even though they couldn't before and that is why Israel went in in the first place?
  
• The UN is going to do what? I mean, in addition to what they're always able to accomplish.
• Iran and Syria are just going to accept disarmament of their up-and-coming punk fighter?

We'll see...

I really would like to hear some rational....or really any argument which supports Iran's stance against Israel. For the sake of argument, lets assume the state of Israel was a mistake and not right. Well, that was over 50 years ago and you can't just expect a whole nation of people to get up and go. Can you? Assuming this insane proposition would fly, where would they go?

Insanity

Hezbollah/Iran/Syria claim victory; as does GW and Israel. But who really paid the price over the last 5 weeks? Innocent people, victims to being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I think I read that most of the dead and injured are not just civilians, but children.

At least the President of Iran is now blogging. I'm not linking to him though, because the thought of him getting even $.80 from Goggle Ads is just wrong.

My favorite quote from President Mahmoud:
"God's promises have come true," Ahmadinejad told a huge crowd in Arbadil in northwestern Iran. "On one side, its corrupt powers of the criminal US and Britain and the Zionists .... with modern bombs and planes. And on the other side is a group of pious youth relying on God."

The monotheistic religions usually claim their God to be omnipotent, omniscient, and many other really impressive sounding omni's. If the 'pious youth' are 'relying on God,' well then they're in pretty good shape as God can make or break anyone's day. I guess you've just got to put your eggs in the right basket though, and not pick the wrong God.

"Only the dead have seen an end to war."
--Plato

Scotty's Back

Isn't that a semi-famous black diamond run in Mammoth? I wouldn't know, I haven't skiied for years. At any rate, it seems our most recent, most popular, and with little doubt our most lovable newlywed is back on the scene. I still haven't received my 'thank you' note for the wedding gift, but I suppose it's customary to send that after said gift has been received. Soon, SAB, soon.

Today we had a crazy work meeting in Huntington Beach. Not at the local HoJo or some other related venue, we had it directly on the boardwalk somewhere in between the HB pier and Bolsa Chica. In fact, we had it directly adjacent to Zack's. We had to enroll in two 'mandatory fun' events; I selected the Frisbee toss, and Volleyball. In the Frisbee toss, my two-man team made it to the finals. There were 2 sections. The first was like an egg toss. My partner, who I didn't know, very confidently asked upon meeting me if I could throw a frisbee? I meekly responded "sure." Aparently I should have been asking him. We lost in the final stages when one of his throws went straight into the sand somewhere about halfway to me, kind of like a Bermuda Triangle flight I guess.

Volleyball was pure domination, and 12 people all wanting to talk shit really badly but having no skills to back it up. We ended up borrowing a real volleyball from some 12 year old girls, to replace the peice of shit we were playing with, but the game didn't seem to reflect the upgrade. In the end I was awarded two (2) coolies, which someone told me I was pronouncing wrong as it was actually a "coozie (sp?)." Unfortunately, I don't care if the the rest of the Universe calls it a "coozie," I'm calling it a "coolie." It keeps your beverage cool, not cooz.

Hot Dogs and Beer

In his home opener for the Dodgers, future HOF'er Greg Maddux received a no decision as he was pulled before the Dodgers could take the lead. I will say that he was hit, and the Rockies put themselves in situations to score runs, but that guy is unflappable. His presence is pretty entertaining to watch. He's listed at 6'0 and 180 lbs., and so for professional sports, though certainly not small, he is not big. And still he just doesn't back down from batters. Not that I saw it last night, but I have seen him on TV hit very large men with a pitch (large men holding wood bats that is), and when the missing link of a man gives him the look that makes most pitchers avoid eye contact, he just looks back like "well, I'm right here."

Current World Series prediction: San Deigo Padres in 6 games

Never Never Land

You think you're ready for this; but I assert here and now that you are not....

Putting things away

It dawned on me this afternoon, that it is not exactly as easy as is sometimes alluded to, to "put things away," when one is not entirely sure where they go. To add even more difficulty, often things to be "put away" almost seem like they belong in a dumpster.

Parking Fees

Something funny happened yesterday, something quite unexpected. I lost another parking lot ticket (this one at the public lot in Pasadena) and was requested to pay the max. For the 2 of you who may remember my botheration with the Grove parking facility earlier this year (and for the 1 new reader who doesn't, it cost me $19 to get out of the garage), yesterday's mishap only ran me $6. That's right, the maximum rate was, and still is, 6 American dollars. Now that's a deal anyday of the week, as I'd probably hit the max anyhow for being there 5 hours.

So the Grove ban is still active....they're going to pay I tell you, it's a fact!

Construction Update
Check it out.....they're pouring cement through this gigantic antennae into the square holes they dug:

Wearing Some Dipes, Blowin' Up a Floatie

I might trade the floatie out for a cold one, but wouldn't this be a nice way to go about your day? Everyday?

Is 'cold one' universal? I know the movie Vacation has been watched by at least every person on the planet born before 1980, so if I come out of a steamy South Asian tropical rainforest and head straight into the first establishment serving alcoholic refreshments, can I obtain an ice cold 24 oz. can of Schlitz with a simple "Hey Slim, gimme a cold one, would ya?"

Outage, brah.

Clipstone Street was shut down by the man.
Clipstone Street was pissed, and was out for revenge.
Clipstone Street was gonna show the man....
And then CS couldn't do nuttin' but 'cept the reality that it's hard living independent of the man.

.....Or the DSL was on the fritz. It started acting funny about a month ago. I'd come in to sit down at the computer, and the DSL would be over in the corner sweating bullets and trying to do it's best Robin Williams impersonation (from the good years, aka Mork and Mindy era). I struggled through it; resetting the modem every 8 minutes, continually rebooting the computer, etc. Finally.......just silence.

So it was the modem. Dead at age 2. What a waste. That modem showed so much promise. I had it's room decorated with Ivy League College memorabilia and posters of current sport stars not under grand jury indictments and/or drug/prostitute/DUI/business scandal allegations. And it's dead. Well, out with the old and in with the new.

I've also started putting all my music into iTunes. Not really sure why, just riding this wave of freedom, man. Know what I mean? Also realized I was telling people that I weighed 180 lbs., when in actuality I have crept to 190. To be honest, 190 would be cool if I was thicker, alas I am not. But I'm not dieting, I'm just going to start eating healthier for the health of it. Did that sound dirty?

The new mode is water, water, water, less dairy, less meat, less processed food, more fruit and vegetables, a teeny, tiny bit less alcohol.