Unless I'm in the 'boys' room at a Junior High School, I really shouldn't ever go into a stall and look down at the toilet to find some guy's warm piss all over the seat. But it happens more than you'd think. Why is this?
I think we all, at one time or another (and then this marks the last time), have tried to thread the needle of the toilet seat with our urine laser. Still, what's the real payoff here anyway? If you should happen to not splatter your liquid waste all over the seat, yippee! You're just where you'd have been had you lifted the seat. And of course, we all know that it's actually impossible to not get some part of the stream on the seat. Ever stood next to a waterfall? Case closed.
But let's get back to where this post started: I all-to-often walk into a men's stall to.....well, um...you know (read: drop a deuce), and the toilet seat is down and there is piss all over it. Not to scold or reprimand; not to harangue or otherwise accost the previous visitor, I just want to see who this guy is. I mean, who is he? Really?
Why, first of all, is he peeing standing up in the sit-down crapper? For this example, I am excluding any restroom where this is the only choice, or has limited standing urinals. So why is he afraid to stand with the other boys, and just take care of his business. As an aside, I am always amused by the guys who basically shove their parts into and up against the inside of the urinal, so that no one can see them (because in secret, we are all in there to see each other's dodes).
Moving on, if a man wants to pee standing up in his own personal box, with the door locked, so be it. Why can't he lift the seat though. Kick it up with your shoe if you're a germaphobe whose neuroses drive you to believe that you're actually avoiding germs by not touching the seat. And then leave it up if you want. I don't care. I just don't like having to wipe up another man's piss. Call me crazy, I've just never been into it.
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6 comments:
The worst is when you're in an emergency situation, with the only available recourse (just in the nick of time!) that piss-dribbled toilet seat. What to do?
Who are these scumbags that do that? They should outlaw piss dribblings in airplanes before silly hair gel.
And I'll give myself the props for introducing the phrase 'drop a deuce' into the Clipstone lexicon. At least I think it was me.
always carry sanitary wipes.
in men's rooms, the seat should always be up if no one is sitting on it. sort of a reverse gravity hinge, don't you think?
Liquido, welcome back!
This post from Ski seems like the best place to ask, how were the festivities in France? And the days in Italy?
drop a deuce - you made that up? - wow - it is now all over the internet and in wide usage. good work alan gore, er i mean rosenblatt.
i think i even heard it while watching kill bill v.2 the other day.
eehhh...
fuck off.
how was everything? we need a crackpod update with photos.
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