Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Where's the Beef?

Last Saturday we'd just finished playing 18th holes of golf, it was a nice and warm sunny day, the Gin & Tonics were ready, my suit was on, towel in hand, and.......the Sheriff's department is over at the jacuzzi checking out a 911 call. Great, can't I ever catch a break?

Upon arriving on the scene, the sheriffs (who turned out to be quite mellow and cool) found a man sitting inside the jacuzzi area - but not in the jacuzzi - who was 'disoriented and unsure of who he was and where he was.' Uh....okay. My first thought was drugs. Gotta be, right? I'm thinking he's hit his meth too hard, but what the hell do I know?

So we trot over in our trunks, cocktails in hand, towels slung over our shoulders, witnessing this whole thing going down not more than 15 yards from the jacuzzi. We've got 2 Sherriff's, 4 firemen, several EMT's, more emergency workers showing up to be waved off, and me and my dad are chilling front row in the jacuzzi. Half of me felt like it was a bit irreverent, and half of me knew that I was on a schedule: I had 45 minutes before I had to be at my sister's for my stepmom's birthday celebration. It was now, or not until tomorrow to soak in the jacuzzi with a fine Sapphire & Tonic. Unless asked not to, I was gonna to sit in the jacuzzi.

Long story short.......too late, it turns out that this guy is actually in the middle of a diabetic shock. His blood sugar is so low that he's sitting on the ground, only remembers his first name, is not sure where he lives, and he's laughing and moving like a jelly skeleton. Very unnerving once I realized how close this guy came to dying really.

Fast forward to Monday. Come 11:30 a.m., I felt as though my blood sugar was getting low. Not to be funny, I know it wasn't getting dangerously low, but I was feeling really sluggish, and knew it was only time before I became irritable and cranky, and then the total A-hole all who know me have met before. My solution? Protein. Fastest and tastiest method of getting said protein into my bloodstream? In-N-Out Burger.

In the last year, I moved down from the Double-Double to the Single. Yeah, okay, call me a pussy. I just decided that I didn't need all that meat. And once I tried a Single, I realized I was fine. That was a perfect amount of food for me. But this day something deep down inside of me was crying out for more. It ached, and pleaded, so I indulged it. Double-Double, fries, soda. No problem. I must've finished every single peice of food on my tray w/in 4 minutes. One word: deliciosa. Translation: f'ing goooooooood!!!!!


slapnuts said...

does your family have a history of diabetes? Or have you ever been diagnosed? Nuttin wrong w/ a single burger, btw, I applaud that effort.

jbo said...

i am not diabetic, and yes, you're right, there is nothing wrong with a Single.