Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Army Ranger Workout Program

Tomorrow I start "Fitness Solution 2006." I've been beta testing it for the last 4 months in my head, and I think we're ready to roll it out. Tonight we're celebrating with a DiGorno pizza and a bottle of Ravenswood Zinfandel (you happy Tovar?).

FS06 will include the Army Ranger Workout Program, which will eventually make me a better soldier, "so I have that going for me........which is nice."

This afternoon I wrapped up my day in a cigar store on Melrose. This place sells the usual tobacco products, a very small assortment of soda pop, had a few waters for sale, and even has an espresso machine. They also have some nice couches and leather chairs on which patrons can casually enjoy their tobacco product of choice while catching up with an acquaintance, or soaking up the ass-beating the Pistons were handing the Bucks on this fine and glorious afternoon. I was logged into my laptop, deliciously enjoying the new connection speed of my wireless modem while casually enjoying the no name cigar I fetched from the discount bin.

I've been in this shop once before, so I knew the layout, but I was not aware of it's grandeur. Today's crew, all of whom seemed to know each other, included a guy I was sure had wandered in off the street and passed out directly on the first couch he could find; a couple of college bro's who kept barking various and completely inconsequential certainities to each other; some fellow dressed in a suit sans tie (what a pussy, everyone knows that real men wear a throat-choking tie like me) and suglasses {this guy was yelling at the guys in the back corner that they in fact were pussies b/c they were playing online poker on their laptop instead of real poker}, a guy with 2 scripts (who knew!?), some other riff raff types, and me.

Best thing overheard on this afternoon visit:

Suit guy{in an exaggerated tough guy voice, directly at a smaller guy}: "Do you know who I am!?"
Guy walking outside w/ 2 scripts in hand: "It's not 'Do you know who I am? It's do you know who you used to be.'"

2 comments:

Liquid Spirit said...

that is a great line - i hope i am able to use it soon.

AKA said...

Zinfandel is an army workouts best buddy.