My Morning Commute

I'm a creature of habit. I wake up everyday, take a shower, get dressed, put some coffee in a travel mug and leave for work. In the bathroom, I put shampoo in my hair, wash my body, rinse the shampoo out of my hair, and then wash my face. In front the on the mirror, I put in my contacts, comb my hair, shave, put on deodorant, brush my teeth, and apply a little gel to my hair. The order is always the same.

In my closet, I try to keep all my clothing going the same way on the hangers. And I rotate my six suits evenly. Every morning I select a suit, then a shirt, then a tie, and then the belt/shoe combo. Then I leave for work, bag and coffee in hand.

Every morning I stress a little about red lights, idiot drivers, and other little trivial annoyances. My commute is never any longer or any shorter as a result of these things happening or not happening. Some mornings I might drive a tad faster, make every light, and I think this will make a difference. It might shave 5 minutes off my 35 minute drive.

I do hate stop and go driving, but accepting that, I for some unknown reason enjoy driving to work with my coffee and listening to the radio. My presets (which is what I listen to 99.7% of the time in the morning) go like this:

1. 93.1 Jack FM - somewhat new station, no DJ's which can be nice, idiotic station identification, seemlingly random selection of pop music from 80's on up.
2. 95.5 KLOS - I can't really listen to Mark and Bryan, not sure why, just can't...
3. 106.7 KROQ - Kevin and Bean are not funny. They seem to cow-tow to a group of teenagers.
4. 103.1 Indie - Radio stays here mostly. Dickey is pretty good, I like Chuck, and they play more, and definitely better music.
5. 101 K-Earth - If you don't like oldies, then you just plain don't get it. Sorry.
6. 89.9 NPR - Gotta have it for the least lopsided news. Nic Harcourt at 9 am is the best around for picking good music to play.

So that's pretty much it. I am a robot who likes coffee and driving through street traffic-infested Los Angeles in a suit and tie to job that pays me slightly better than a good waiter. Best part, I'm okay with that.

I just might have to agree...

What is the deal with Actors, Directors, Photographers, Politicians, and I guess really most people who are either at the top of their circle or have merely just marketed themselves to appear so? Why do they really believe they're so good? For me, it's tough to claim anything ever since I read a really good book (i.e. Great Expectations) , or heard some clearly above-the-norm music, or even just met some very brilliant people who do not take themselves so seriously. [found on Slate.com]

Just like in cartoons

I love this, even if it's not on the up-and-up....I just love the idea that some team of nerds put time into figuring out how to make this work.

Step right up and win some...

Today I won a travel mug during a work presentation by answering a question. It's actually a pretty decent mug, else I would have just stayed quiet.

Opening the mug to wash it out so I could use it tomorrow, I found the following care instructions.

• Please wash all parts in warm soapy water before using [sensible enough advice]
• Do not exceed the product capacity with liquids [i think it's actually impossible by virtue of definition to exceed capacity]
• Always be certain the lid is secured before drinking [this suggestion is just about as warm as apple pie]
• Hot drinks may scald the user [okay, thank you, but i'm not as dumb as i look]
• Keep out of children's reach when filled with hot liquid to avoid scalding [i said....]
• Do not put container in microwave [right. metal in microwave = bad]
• Hand wash only [this is a actually good b/c if i had a dishwashwer, i would try to put it in it]
• Dishwasher may damage product or lid seal [not if i follow your previous rule it won't]
• CAUTION - hot liquid will increase temperature of exterior wall [well, now you've cracked the case.........]

All in all, I'm still happy about my prize. I guess Life isn't so hard after all.

One difference between Men and Women

{It's not camera shake, it's Margarita vision}

If, hypothetically, a window is covered by something, say like, blinds and said blinds are doing a great job of providing not only the required privcacy, but also the designed amount of light-entry control, Men are good with this situation. Women on the other hand.....

But that isn't even the difference I set out to convey. It's better than that. Let's say you put something up and don't like it and take it down and then have nothing to put back up? What then? For Men, a sheet is a perfectly good, temporary window covering. For Women? Unacceptable. Why? I'm not sure.....

My Baloney has a first name, it's OSCAR

Quick post-Oscar notes:

1. Did George Clooney try to retaliate for a Jon Stewart joke on how much money everyone in attendance makes by saying that they bring the issues to the forefront? I believe he did. Something like...."we talked about AIDS when it was a whisper, and Civil Rights when no one wanted to talk about it." That really shouldn't be in quotes b/c I'm sure it's misquoted, but correct me if I'm wrong, but the Civil Rights movement seemd to be some 40 years ago. Anyhow, I still like George, but I was disappointed to see that he's just one of the gang and can't get over himself.

2. In Memoriam made no reference to Don Knotts passing. Excuse me for one brief second while I compose myself...................WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! Don Knotts. Say what you want, he's been in films and television longer than most people have been alive.

3. What happened to Brokeback Mountain? Although Best Director has to be one of the bigger awards of the evening, and they were nominated for seemingly every category, they didn't win nothin'. And......the gay jokes were a little tiring. You could see them coming a mile away and then they just weren't that good.

4. Reese Witherspoon had the best acceptance speech. Second runner up was the director from "Tsotsi." I loved that guy's accent.

Needs v. Wants

Some wants:

1. more computer memory
   
2. laptop
3. wireless network for the house
4. how about a house to go with the wireless network?
5. a backpack
6. some new sunglasses
7. more ambition
8. less gut
9. better clothing for work and casual
10. more money, less time spent working

Some needs:

1. food (have)
2. shelter (have)
3. love(have)
4. good times with friends and family(have)
5. penis that knows what it's doing(working on that)
6. dog(can't have one here, so that will come with the house)
7. kids(if the wife says we have to, then i guess so).....kidding.
   

South Park

My first episode of South Park was over 5 years ago. I don't watch too often anymore, but recently I've caught a few gems, and this was in one of them.

This is also why I support Sharkle over those other, but just not-as-good video sharing communities. Afterall, Sharkle brought me Extreme Gene. What did YouTube do? Nothing, really.

Shop Till You Drop

Yeah, what (s)he said......
How do you like the Political Correctness?

From the same site, pretty funny but what I really love is the music. Sorry JB, I found this on that weaker site...

I got 10/10

I know. You don't believe me. You remember me from 8th grade Math. But guess what? I don't care. Sure I guessed on one or two. Fact still stands shining alone and valiant: I got 10 out of 10.

http://www.blogthings.com/couldyoupasseighthgrademathquiz/

What Bubble?

Not that all bubbles necessarily burst, but come on now. My short story on this is that we're entering a new era of some smart rich folks slowly draining away everyone's cash. If person A never actually ends up buying his home, or forever leases a car that is too expensive for him/her to buy, what happens I think is that he/she never actually accumulates any money. Not that wealth accumulation is the goal, but enjoying life and saving along the way allows for the 'golden years' to be a little more enjoyable. I just hope we all get that chance.

Welcome to Eternity

I just listened to a blurb on NPR in which this guy thinks it's not out of the question that scientists are able to not only drastically slow the aging process, but......possibly even halt it?? That's kind of spooky. What happens when no one is dying, and yet everyone is still screwing (or at least procreating)? Or how about when our Sun starts to die, and cool, and shrink, to then only expand and overtake Earth's orbit? What then, Mr. Smarty?

Pre-retirement Planning

I finally shined my shoes last night, so I feel pretty good about that. A little disappointed that no one said anything nice to me today regarding my freshly-shined shoes, but other than that, feelin' purty good.

It's Wednesday, so I'm more than 50% done with my week, but how close am I to retiring? And when I reach retirement, there's actually no way I'm going to just wake up everyday and grandpa around for the rest of my days. Unless of course I'm so stinkin' rich that I can smoke Cubans while playing $300 rounds of golf with my friends, and stuff like that. In all liklihood, I'll work in retirement to keep the boredom at bay. How come I can't do that now? Why do I do what I do? Hmmm.......

Peppy Teens...

Comments Welcome

Trying to figure out a new scheme for my blog. At first I liked the clean crisp white look, on other blogs at least, but now I think I liked the low-level contrast of that light blue and grey of my last template. Again, comments welcome.

Grey v. Gray? Which spelling do you prefer? I feel like "grey" is more authoritative, and as a physically weak person I naturally feel compelled to use this spelling. But then I feel like "gray" is more artistic, and as an uncreative and always uncool person, I feel myself gravitating towards using the latter. Thoughts?

What the???

No Inflation?? Check these prices

I don't know about you, but the Sun of DiarEASE looks a little constipated to me....

Services to be held at the Regal Beagle

Whoever you are, where ever you are, I want you to stop and take a moment. The King is gone. Ralph Furley was a legend my friend, and he has moved on....

Don Knotts, RIP

Finally....

Thursday evening is here.
Cold Stella Artois in a glass.
Can I call in sick tomorrow??

Come on! You know I would never do that....

Dilbert Is Funny...if you've been to Corporate America

Interesting little article from the Senator. I know that I rarely feel a sense of accomplishment in my job as too many things are requested. I simply cannot finish everything. So it becomes a matter of starting a million projects and finishing only those that are either a). most on fire, or b). actually important. A small and not-so insignificant rule is that everything must be treated like it is important. A necessary, and I don't care how dedicated anyone is, by-product of this environment is that productivity is reduced, imho.

But!! Is that bad? By this flurry of non-sense, are people traded money for their activity through which they are able to put food on their tables, roofs over their heads, clothings on the bodies of their dependants, and most importantly, pay taxes with? Yes. And maybe that's what it's all about.

Last quick note: I'm in first place in the uber-important Yahoo Fantasy Golf league.
-no, not the whole league smart guy, just my tournament within the whole league.

Humility, or Can I Kiss Ass Well Enough?

Today was hard for me. I want to, but something inside me says 'don't blog about work.' During my first appointment, my contact more or less threw me under the bus several times for her own benefit as her new boss was in the meeting. I don't mind once or twice, it comes with the territory, but after a couple of times of picking myself up and dusting myself off, it gets old. My ego starts to peak out of my ear, eyeballing it's next victim. I kept it check today, and although not entirely rare, it's a 50/50 proposition. If I'm to blame, okay, I can take my lumps. If I'm not, and you're just trying to deflect your incompetence, well, you only get a couple of those.

I like to think of myself as being a patient, understanding person. Alas, the opposite is most likely closer to the truth. After a few tries, I grow weary and irritable. It's one thing to say "I don't understand," or "I don't agree," but to just keep repeating that you're not getting what you need while I keep repeating that it is right here, right beneath your nose, just waiting to be put into practice, well, that just gets me going sometimes.

And now to get completely juvenille and fixated on the unimportant: one of the requests of my customer was some data, with certain parameters for around 50 different sets. Not a problem, just tell me what you need, and that is what I will get you. Well today she coudn't stop hammering home how the data set included 4 sets that were not hers. In my meeting I was drooling to let her know that I had cut and pasted the set description from a file she had sent me, and later realized that 4 ofthe sets were incorrect b/c her data had transposed a "4" for a "Y." This was not an error on my part, or my company's. This was her error. Again, tell me what you need, and that is what I will get you. If you ask me to tell you where the phone number 555-1212 rings, and I tell you, please don't accuse me of not helping you b/c I have not told you where 555-2121 rings.

Lesson learned: don't trust that people won't make mistakes.
Lesson already learned:I must trust people to help me or I will spend my life reinventing everything.
Lesson to be learned tomorrow: I so badly want to show this woman up, but I know it's not going to help me or my company in the end.

Do I get paid enough to be this humble? Answer is a "no," which is proceeded by a variation of the 'f' word. But I'm trying b/c afterall, Jesus and Rush said it: The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth.

Liquid's Got the Best Eye Ever!!

How in the world did you notice that? And, no, I'm not going to hype it. I'm the anti-hype.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.

--John Lennon

Don't Believe the Hype

Why are we always so infatuated with hype? It's everywhere.

The Youngest 35 year old I know

Scoja founder and chief architect is 35 today. Can you believe it? His soul is both ancient and reborn every second, or is it twice every second?

Scott - Happy Birthday, man! Make sure you get everything you need/want/desire today and tonight from that little Frenchie of yours.

Have You Been?

jonvarsano.com rocks. Simple as that. I just visited the links section, even though he showed me this today on his Treo while I awaited my egg sandwich at a cafe in Culver City while basking in the 80 degree sunshine, and sure enough......it's there. A link to my blog. I just want to say, Jon, you, my friend, are the BOMB!
Is it still cool to say that someone is 'the bomb?' How about 'tight?' Is that still cool, in the parlance of our times?"

TODAY.

--word carved on a stone on John Rushkin's desk.

Walter Hoving

I don't get it -- do they rent RV's or horses? Or do they rent children on horseback? Or maybe their target market are children with loads of expendable income and no parents, and they're renting the adults on horseback. On another note, the girl in the picture was standing and talking to the gentleman who was filling the tank. I couldn't quite see inside the Recreational Vehicle, so I was not able to tell if she had already made the sandwiches or not. If she had, then she should be commended for next proceeding to come keep her guy company while he fueled up the wagon. If she hadn't.....well, she better uncross her arms quickly and get back to work.

Today I visited the Walter Hoving Home in Pasadena. It's a Christian-based rehab for women. It costs $300/month to stay there. You share a room with another women, and each room has it's own bathroom. You're given chores to do, but aside from that each woman must get up at 5:30 every morning and clean their bathroom. Then they read the Bible for an hour (I think, and if Oprah is reading any of this, it's all fiction as I don't want to be lambasted b/c my memory is incorrect), have breakfast and then go about their day. In the first month you cannot have incoming phone calls from anyone and/or visitors. After a month you can get phone calls from the payphone; there is one per floor. There is no email. You can have visitors come and visit you on Saturday from 1-4 pm and Sunday from 1-3 pm. After 3 months you can leave for small periods of time. You cannot eat cookies or cake after 9 pm. You cannot maintain contact - via phone, letters, or in person visits - with a boyfriend. You cannot be a lesbian. There are designated times that you read and study the Bible. I'm sure there's more, but these are the basics.

I hope that doesn't sound negative. Afterall, this is a Rehab. Most of the women are old, and their faces show a long, weary life. This isn't a last stop per se, but if you can't change here, you're getting pretty close to the point where you live on the streets and just await your demise. I've been to visitor hours twice now and I really enjoy it. You see the women's families; you see their young children coming to visit "Mommy"; you see their parents or siblings bringing them food and a slice of what normalcy is; but what you mainly see is that there are people who care about them. I don't listen in on their conversations, but I don't see a lot of accusing or condemnation. You just see people coming to spend some time with people they care about. And then you see people who don't have visitors as well.

I want to thank the people at the Walter Hoving Home, and similar institutions for the work they do. Sometimes this life is tough, and whether we want to admit it or not, we are all in this together. So it's nice to see people doing something for others.

As for me, when no one was looking I stole some money out of the donations basket.

Dilbert

Scott Adams is the cartoonist who does Dilbert, and he has a blog. I read this today, and thought it was a fairly interesting, and quite possible extremely accurate, point of view:

Q. Do you ever fall into the trap of thinking that because you are a minor celebrity then your opinions are more important than anyone else’s?

A. I think opinions have entertainment value and that’s about it. It’s not as if people change their views because someone made a better argument. And rarely are opinions based on adequate information. So from that perspective, all opinions are equally (un)important.

At first I thought this was ridiculous, but slowly - as all great ideas come - I realized that this was much bigger than I had first conceptualized. Be sure to check out the photo page. And the Beer Song is mandatory. Sorry to get military in here, but it really is mandatory. And when you think you've got the gist of it, and the song is still going, you must continue on. Trust me on this, it's not a stupid trick where the song never ends. When you're done watching, maybe you have some of the same questions as me. Namely, was that a child petting a dinosaur I saw flash by? And during the let's get drunk and drive (never a good idea) segment, was that a Panda behind the wheel? And then of course we finish with the 1980's free penguin icon.

Couple quick things here: can someone please explain what the gentleman in the upper left-hand corner are doing? And secondly, 'Glaucoma Hymn?' This is the kind of stuff that spawned the "what the...." craze.

Tomorrow I start really kicking ass. No more slackin' off. Tomorrow....

Better Men Than Me

I have this ritual I do every morning. I keep a book of daily readings or meditations by Tolstoy in my car. And everyday just before I get out of the car to go to work, I read that day's entry. When I park, if the radio is playing something I like, I just lower the volume while I read. Today was "Jammin'," by Bob Marley. Now while I love Marley, this has never really been a favorite of mine. But one of the lyrics just came out the song this morning like a brick and stuck me right between the eyeballs. He sang, and I paraphrase, that 'life is worth more than gold.' For a guy coming off the streets of a country living below the poverty line, that is pretty amazing.

Anywho, I'm having some tea right now. Camomile I think. Honey. Spoon. Hot water. Mmmm, good. A couple of years ago I had this really bad sore throat. Felt like someone had taken a cheese grater to the inside. So I got in the habit of constantly drinking hot water, fresh lemon, and honey. And it was damn good! If I was smart I would forego the tea and just go for the HotLemonHoney concoction. For now, I'm happy that I'm drinking tea. Maybe it's a trick as I am easily duped, but it just makes me feel a little bit better to drink it. Still doesn't taste as good a nice cup of coffee, but as my Uncle Tim once told me, "everyday can't be roses."

Today I really enjoyed the intro to this site. I didin't even enter it as I was afraid I'd spend the next 3 hours thoroughly investigating everything inside. Maybe you think "forbidden doughnut" is funny too?

Lastly, if you click on the above left photo it will get bigger. And when it gets bigger you can make out some of the inscribed names. My favorite is BUBBA. Which is yours?

Oops, one more thing. How do either of you link the new font. I'm experimenting with both fonts and font sizes. Leave a comment letting me know which you like better. Today is Courier, while the last couple of days have been Arial.

Put it in the books, Valentine's Day 2006 is done.

Morning: One present, one card.
Evening: Hot spinach salad, bottle of Chardonnay, Shrimp and Scallop Scampi, homemade ice cream (Rocky Road and chocolate chip cookie) sanwich, and Camomille tea w/ honey to close it out. Too bad I'm not a rich bastard as I'd like to keep this lifestyle going. Alas, I'm just a bastard and I have to go to work tomorrow....

But for tonight, I think I have done good, and I am proud. Really, I should bask in this feeling as long as I can for tomorrow it will be ripped from me like a cheap eyebrow hotwax.

Sleep well world, sleep well...

VD Is Upon Us

That's right........tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Per my biological programming, I have once again waited until the last minute to do my part. I've really got to stop doing that. It's bad feng shui for the mind. But I do think that I've done good this year. I should be chore-free for at least a week. We'll see how that goes though. Sometimes it raises the expectations and actually produces the opposite of the intended effect.

Okay, it's official: my gut is way too big for my skinny frame. Starting today I decree less alcohol, less red meat, more fruits and vegetables, exercise thrice per week, what else? Almost forgot, more water!!! How could I possibly almost forget water?? Water is the key here, I think. And less soda. That should be a pretty good assault upon my bulging belly. I can't even call it a beer belly, or beer gut. At least those are cool names that show you've been up to something fun. I rather look like I just play video games and eat donuts all day.

Shop Until I Drop

An email I received from JV:
"Weekend: Finished the remainder of the Armagnac that Blumin left, partaked in the last of the Garfield red hair, and watched “No Direction Home,” Sciorsece (spelling?) documentary about Dylan. Very Good, I highly recommend all of the above."

Sounds like a pretty good weekend to me. What'd I do? Oh............endless/mindless shopping. What'd we buy? Curtains I think. I'm not really sure because I'm on leave for putting whatever we bought up till next weekend. All I know is that I have re-confirmed that I don't really dig shopping. Ever. I like to know what it is I want to buy, where they sell it, go to that store, locate my targets, find someone who can sell me my goods, and then get out of there. Cruising around just looking at stuff doesn't do it for me. I'd rather be at home making sure I have enough toilet paper stocked in the bathroom, or something of a non-trivial nature like that.

Gina sent me this for when I'm bored and need to act like a 13 year-old.

Just as a follow-up item, this weekend I did not:

1. wash my car
2. shine my shoes
3. buy shoelaces
4. relax and prepare for the insanity that awaits me on Monday
5. run a couple of miles
6. buy a new coffee table (although the marathon search this weekend has at least narrowed it down to a winner, and all we need to do is order that sucker)
7. buy a new rug
   

Where's my Michelob?

Today I split a pitcher of Boddington's Cream Ale with Gina at this British pub in Old Town Pasadena. We're mid-February and I wore a short sleeve shirt all day. Doesn't get too much better really. We sat outside in their patio which is in this alley one block off of Colorado. I can't remember the name of the place, but I'll ask the better half and see if she remembers it.

Some things I really have to do tomorrow:

1. Wash my car
2. Shine my shoes
3. Buy soap
4. Buy shoelaces
5. Relax and prepare for the insanity that awaits me on Monday

Some things I don't necessarily have to do, but would like to do:

1. Read the paper and drink coffee
2. Run a couple of miles
3. Get a new coffee table
4. Get a new rug for the living room

So as you can see, I've got a pretty busy Sunday planned.

Hero Culture

Just my opinion, but were the Grammy's about as boring as anything can get? I miss all these shows so I'm not sure if I'm close to correct here, or it's just me. I will say that I usually like the Oscars. I like seeing all the stars, and seeing the looks on their faces when they're trying to pretend that they like somebody. And, it's only once a year.

But back to the Grammy's. I remember watching the MTV music awards in college and really liking those shows. But that was over ten years ago, so I'm left wondering if I'm just not cool anymore and I'm just not understanding what is cool and fashionable right now. I mean, I just found out about blogging, for chissakes! But this is what is so cool about blogging: I don't think I've ever written or spoken the word "chrissakes" before. Now I can, pretty cool, huh?

I was impressed with Kelly Clarkson. I also never really watched "Idol," so I only knew her name as it became more popular that Mohammed (even though he's back in the news apparently). That girl can sing.

Other impressions: Bono needs to get over himself. The Edge, despite the fact that it's hard to respect him when he keeps showing up on these All Time Greatest Guitarist lists, seems to be a pretty cool guy. What else did I see before I almost decided to clean the bathroom? Oh yeah, Chris Martin. Bingo! Nice skipping Chris. Extreme Gene would blow you away in a skipoff!! I think Chris is a talented song writer, has a good voice, and maybe this is me being out of touch again........but is he/Coldplay anything special? He acts like he's on par with Jesus, Aristotle, Michael Jordan, and Oppenheimer. Music as it has existed for over 2,000 years has had so many better talents that go unnoticed, and if we met them on the street we'd think they were just ordinary people. Oh well.....

Photo Blog?

What's this blog all about anyway? My friend Tovar refers to it as my "rant page," or something to that affect. But it's not just a vehicle for my ranting. Ideally, it would be some sort of journal because I want to keep a journal, but I really just hate writing by hand. Short notes are fine, but anything beyond that, and I just get bored.....and then fade to a halt. Mysteriously I actually enjoy typing. Anyhow, a journal? But can I really be totally honest on here like a journal is supposed to be? I think not.

Maybe I'll start putting more pictures into my Flickr account, and start leaning towards a photo blog. I frequent a few great photo sites, but it can be overwhelming at times - especially so since going digital. If anyone actually reads this, and has any comments, please either email them to me or post them.

For today, I'll pretend this a blog dedicated to photography.

I have this project I've had in my mind for several months now. It revolves around getting photos of my family members and framing them. The general idea is to get each family member in a solo shot. All in black and white, but this isn't a rule. And I'd like to take each person and get many shots, so I can end up with each photo of each member being entirely unique and different.

For example, Family Member A is a shot of just their nose and one ear, Family Member B from directly above their head with him/her looking up, etc. Just get a bunch of random and different shots of everyone, then select one per family member, and frame it. Then display them all on a wall. I got this idea from Beverly, and I think it's a really great idea.

Histogram?

The histogram for this photo basically said it was overexposed. Ha! Just goes to show what a computer knows. I think this photo is kinda rad.

I still need blog help. I did ask once before, and one lady was kind enough to offer some support. But her advice was to learn HTML, and while that was sound counsel, I need a little more than that. I need an advanced-intermediate blogger to take me under their wing. I have questions. If that might be you, please let me know.

JB sent me this from Sharkle today, and it made me laugh. Will it make you laugh? I don't know, why don't you click it, find out, and let me know what happened?

I got a Supercut today, and as always.......it is looking super. What I love about Supercuts aside from the fact that they call themselves "Supercuts" just like Superman called himself "Superman," is the wacky staff. In tonight's episode, my stylist's mouth was, oh about the same height as my ear - and for that matter, I guess both ear's - and she was having this really boring yet thankfully loud conversation with another of the Scissor Masters across the salon regarding her new cellphone. Apparently, and I quote, "it's a shitty phone, so I'm sending it back." I don't really mind this sort of bravado, because I'm a realist and so I love the reality of it. What I didn't really need was that I wasn't sure whether I was hearing the words via the normal vibrations in the air, or via some new method by which my ear was able to render the moisture of her breath.

Lil Help?

One of these days I'm going to start drinking more tea, and less coffee.
One of these days I'll never eat at McDonald's again.
One of these days I'll realize, comprehend, and accept that things both good and bad will just happen in my life.

Today I know that I should be happy for I have my health, great friends that provide me with an infinite supply of warmth and fun, and the most wonderful woman to walk this Earth.
I love my wife, and because she is here for me, I know that things will be just fine, if I only allow them to be.

"Perception is the birth of meaning."
--a sticker I saw plastered to the side of table

The State of Disco in 2006

Superbowl is today. It's funny how if you don't turn into the buzz, it seems just like any ordinary day. But in a couple of hours, I will undoubetdly catch sight and sound of a TV tuned into the Superbowl, and I'm pretty sure everything that comes out of that television will be aimed at making it seem like today is the greatest day ever. I guess they call it hoopla?

I'm just excited to attend Varsano's historic Superbowl Party.

Last night we enjoyed some Armagnac compliments of SCOJA, then headed straight into the Twilight Zone. We had dinner in downtown Culver City at this italian restaurant called San Gennaro (I think?). Our waitress was young, and Italian (again, I think?), and really wasn't too sure what in the hell she was doing. But she was cheery and after the initial wait period at the table which rivalled some of my better DMV experiences, she did just fine. Supposedly, and I still don't believe this part, this restuarant has $12 bottels of wine. JV ordered an Ironstone cabernet off the list, and the waitress returned with an Iron House, or Iron Horse. Upon realizing the error, she dashed off only to return with 4 bottles in her clutches, none of which were an Ironstone cabernet or I'd ever even heard of. I think we settled into a bottle of Barefoot Merlot - which I have actually seen in the stores but have never thought of purchasing. We decided on our next bottle based upon our waitress' recommendation. I think it went something like this:

"This one is good, but some people like this one too. This other one, in the cabernet which we don't have, is really good. It won a prize."

Pure genius, my friends. "It won a prize." What type of prize? Therein lies her masterful sales technique. Anyway, bottle opened, bottle poured, wine drunk.

Back to the crooner, who was good, but sort of seemed like he was just an actor. He talked like he was in the rat pack, or knew mobsters in the 1950's New York. So he was singing all these Dean Martin/Frank Sinatra tunes, and people were actually dancing! It was pretty refreshing. Most were ancient, with perfectly coifed hair, but there were some young cats too. Gina and I hit the floor for about 1/2 of a song, and I dropped about 3 seconds worth of Robot on the old timers.

Next we hit the Culver Hotel for one after dinner drink. Nice atmosphere, but only one bartender trying to service about 40 people. Oops, almost forgot the anciano who was on the dessert wine/cheese cart. Nice guy, dressed well, cool Euro accent, but again.....if I found out it was his first night, I wouldn't have been surprised.

Then it was back to Varsano Villa West, for a little more armagnac and a couple of laughs in 'the office.' I love 'the office.' Secluded, comfortable, music, refrigarator, couch/bed. What else could a man need? A toilet perhaps, but sometimes it's nice to not have everything you desire.

GnarGnar

Whoever sent me this pic, and you know who you are, titled it "gnargnar." 2 of these 3 guys are certainly gnar, so maybe the title should have been "gnargnarungnar," but maybe that's just too long.

I still need help understanding why it is so common in LA for drivers to hold up lanes of traffic while attempting to make a left turn over a double-yellow line?

Completely unrelated, GW is asking for a defense budget of $439B. Without making a comment or criticism either for or against military spending, I'm just a little curious why we need to spend that much? This animation makes an interesting point regarding how much do we need to spend? I recall studying Ben & Jerry's in a high school Economics class (way back in 1987) and learning that these two hippies had set up their company so that the highest paid employee was never paid more than 5 times what the lowest paid employee was paid. I thought that was pretty cool; of course I was 17 and had no real expenses.

Exxon posted a $10.7B profit for the 4th quarter. I'm still not sure how our cost went up as their costs {allegedly} went up, and yet they posted record gains? I know, this is old news, just thought about it again this morning.

Speaking of energy, I have an idea for a cleaner, cheaper fuel source. At my house, and undoubtedly others as well, we have this constant stream of recycling. I'm referring of course to the flood of junk mail that hits my mailbox daily, and is emptied into a bin that is emptied into another bin for the city to collect and recylce. If we could only find a way to harness this kinetic energy....

Same Bat Time

When there's trouble in my town, the batlight that calls out for help looks a little different than Gotham's.

And yes, Tovar, I'm drinking another scrumptious glass of Sutter Home as I type this.
And, Gary, wow. 5? I just exited the restroom after SS Steamar's second sailing for today, and I'm not as comfortable as I'd like to be.
And, Apple lovers, my CD-RW is not working. Won't open manually, and isn't recognized in the hardware profile either. I've rebooted 2 times now. I might have to put a call into SCOJA.
And, Barn.........good one, who is that Barn-guy anyway?

In honor of GW's State of the Union and the heating up of the political b.s. season, I offer up this interesting article that obviously doesn't only apply to politics, but really illuminates how we might relate to our world in general.

Additionally, I liked this article regarding the situation that is facing our Middle Class. Honestly, I would have thought that we'd become too accustomed to living above our means. Apparently not though....

Rexall is King!

Seriously, in the spirit of all that is good in this world, I'm not sure there is a better store. I buy my underwear there. I just got home from there, pickd up a can of shaving cream, 10 razors, a 4 oz. serving of Anti-perspirant/deodorant, and....AND two bottles of wine for a grand total of $18. Top that, I dare you. You can also buy milk there, get your prescriptions filled, photos developed, and tonight they had a poker table for sale. Not for sale via a a sign in the window, or on some top shelf in the back. No. This little guy was set up, right in the middle of the store, with chairs surrounding it and everything. Had I been in tip top condition tonight, I would have surely headed to the aisle that sells the wine opener and returned to the table to sit and enjoy some Cabernet while reflecting upon my good fortune.

As for the wine, sure it's Sutter Home, but it's $3.50 per bottle. It's not like I purchased it to be opened on my 10 year wedding anniversary. So, settle down you.

Continuing on, my Rexall is on the corner of La Cienega and Beverly Blvds. If you're familiar with the area, I think you understand the nice combination of all walks of life that I get to encounter. If you're not, then....shit, sorry.

Where's the Beef?

Last Saturday we'd just finished playing 18th holes of golf, it was a nice and warm sunny day, the Gin & Tonics were ready, my suit was on, towel in hand, and.......the Sheriff's department is over at the jacuzzi checking out a 911 call. Great, can't I ever catch a break?

Upon arriving on the scene, the sheriffs (who turned out to be quite mellow and cool) found a man sitting inside the jacuzzi area - but not in the jacuzzi - who was 'disoriented and unsure of who he was and where he was.' Uh....okay. My first thought was drugs. Gotta be, right? I'm thinking he's hit his meth too hard, but what the hell do I know?

So we trot over in our trunks, cocktails in hand, towels slung over our shoulders, witnessing this whole thing going down not more than 15 yards from the jacuzzi. We've got 2 Sherriff's, 4 firemen, several EMT's, more emergency workers showing up to be waved off, and me and my dad are chilling front row in the jacuzzi. Half of me felt like it was a bit irreverent, and half of me knew that I was on a schedule: I had 45 minutes before I had to be at my sister's for my stepmom's birthday celebration. It was now, or not until tomorrow to soak in the jacuzzi with a fine Sapphire & Tonic. Unless asked not to, I was gonna to sit in the jacuzzi.

Long story short.......too late, it turns out that this guy is actually in the middle of a diabetic shock. His blood sugar is so low that he's sitting on the ground, only remembers his first name, is not sure where he lives, and he's laughing and moving like a jelly skeleton. Very unnerving once I realized how close this guy came to dying really.

Fast forward to Monday. Come 11:30 a.m., I felt as though my blood sugar was getting low. Not to be funny, I know it wasn't getting dangerously low, but I was feeling really sluggish, and knew it was only time before I became irritable and cranky, and then the total A-hole all who know me have met before. My solution? Protein. Fastest and tastiest method of getting said protein into my bloodstream? In-N-Out Burger.

In the last year, I moved down from the Double-Double to the Single. Yeah, okay, call me a pussy. I just decided that I didn't need all that meat. And once I tried a Single, I realized I was fine. That was a perfect amount of food for me. But this day something deep down inside of me was crying out for more. It ached, and pleaded, so I indulged it. Double-Double, fries, soda. No problem. I must've finished every single peice of food on my tray w/in 4 minutes. One word: deliciosa. Translation: f'ing goooooooood!!!!!

Hey! You! Yeah, you!!

I guess the consensus is not going Gene's way....

But onward and upward!! It's Thursday and I'm waiting to eat some pizza and drink some wine. Mmmmmm, good for me.

Mr. Frey of AMLP got lambasted (apparently, I didn't see the episode) by Oprah today. I read about it in the news and then even heard about it on NPR. Well, I guess we get what we get......or, we reap what we sow......or, something like that.

I still like the book. The second one is boring me already, but it's such fast reading I'll finish it. I'm of a lower order and books with big words and no pictures can be tough on me, forcing slumber is the usual result. Lucky for me, I love to slumber.

What else? Congo Slapper sent me an email a couple of weeks ago, telling me he liked a particular post and that he would leave a comment answering some of the questions I was looking to have answered. So I was excited, and eagerly looked forward to the comment. Everyday I hurriedly skipped home, almost tripping over the Slip N' Slide to get to my mailbox, hoping that Congo Slap had replied. So far, nothing. Thank goodness he's not playing Santa Claus for all the kids under 8 years of age who still believe.

Now he leaves a comment asking why I'm not posting?? Maybe I'm just waiting for him to come through with his unsolicited comments? But seriously CS, I would like to hear your thoughts on this.

Bears.

I guess the war in Iraq is costing the U.S. $6-7B every month. Not bad. Money well spent.

Lucky for us:

God is always on the side of big battalions.
-Voltaire

Cowpie

What does it really mean when someone thanks you in advance for you support, patience, assistance, and understanding? It can't really mean exactly that, can it?

Xenophobia

Oftentimes I have a harder time understanding what message English-speaking peoples are trying to convey to me than foreigners.

With foreigners, and this includes EFL (English as a First Language) who have strong accents, I'm usually having trouble understanding the words coming out of their mouths. Once I get a hold of that, I'm usually good.

On the other side of the burger are these people who I have no trouble whatsoever understanding the words, yet somehow I have no fucking clue what they're talking about?

Or......

Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere
A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night
Working hard to get my fill,
everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice,
just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Ripley's

With an Oakland Tribune reporter and 20 people looking on in November in a parking lot in Fremont, Calif., Tu Jin-Sheng, 50, "grandmaster" in one of the Chinese arts of Qigong, pulled a rental truck several yards using only a piece of fabric tied to the base of his genitals. Jin-Sheng is supposedly a leader of the branch of Qigong known as "Iron Crotch," whose 60,000 adherents worldwide believe that strengthening the genitals increases energy. To warm up for the pull, Jin-Sheng had an assistant kick him hard between the legs. [Oakland Tribune, 11-23-05]

Babyhead, now that's funny

Shoes, Shoes, Shit......

Today I polished my shoes. I don't mind polishing shoes, but if someone else would do it, and hopefully do a better job of it, and not charge me for it, I would never polish another shoe again. Does this make me cheap?

Yesterday my wife bought me a pair of shoes b/c I always wear the same shoes I bought over a year ago. So that got me to thinking about my shoe purchasing. I realized that since I've known my wife, I've bought one (1) pair of shoes. A pair of brown, slip-on Clarks from the yearly Men's Sale at Nordstrom's for $60. That's it. Before that I bought these Salomon hiking shoes for $80, but that was 5 years ago. Whoa, just remembered that I was given a pair of Rainbow flip-flops for Christmas 2004, but I didn't buy them, so that doesn't count anyway.

She also bought me a pair of jeans b/c currently I have two pairs. One pair has been deemed the "nice, go out" pair, and the other is the everyday selection. The everday selection has worn a hole in the crotch, so the wife decided that I needed a new pair of jeans. Something nice, something that she thinks is sexy. Who am I to complain? I'm the American Gigolo with the sugarmama, and I think that's schweet.

So if I develop even more of an attitude, please understand why. I just got a new pair of jeans and a new pair of shoes, and I think I'm better than you.

Whatever.

Funny things happened to me all day, but I'll have to recount those later. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I procrastinate. I'll also get into (later) why I was at www.thesmokinggun.com, but while I was here, I ran into these numbskulls:

Midgets?
Buzzed??
Read the story on this guy.

In other news, our Dishnetwork is not working. It's happened before, but not too often, so I let it slide. This time my experience was.....well, interesting from a consumer standpoint.

Turn on TV.
Message: Satellite Acuiring signal.
This is common, only takes about 20 seconds. 10 Minutes later, it's time to call Customer Service.
Speak with Derrick. Derrick runs through the usual checks, decides there's something wrong with the dish getting the signal from the satellite, and determines that somebody needs to come out and fix the mofo. So far, my attitude is "okay, cool." I've only spent about 15 minutes at this point. So he puts me on hold to transfer me to Advanced Tech..............dial tone. Attitude shifts with the breeze and is now heading north of "okay, cool."

Call back, run through the autmoated menu and get Andy. Briefly explain to Andy what just happened and that Derrick had determined that someone should come out. Andy says that he sees that in the notes, but of course Andy is one hell of a buckaroo and he's gotta give it his College try. I'm sort of like Andy in that I don't want to trust the guy before me, so I humor him and let him walk me through the exact same steps that Derrick and I just lovingly walked through (arm in arm of course). When he can't fix it, I figure he's going to finally just send out a technician. Ha ha!! Silly human. Andy wants me to unplug my receiver and trade it out with the receiver in the other room that is working fine, so "we can see if the problem follows the receiver, or if it's local to the wiring or dish." Sounds logical, but now I'm in for about 40 minutes and I ask Andy why I have to do their work for them, when it is I that pays them every month? Andy is not sure. Fine, I'll do this, even though I've done it before and it never fixed the problem and a technician came out in the end, and then I'll call you back.

Do all the b.s., nothing happens, call back. Forget who I'm talking to now, but there's a little more pressing of buttons, and checking settings.......and, nothing. So 3rd rep starts in with insurance and warranty and I can hear it coming like a long, low train whistle. They're gonna try and charge me to have someone come out, aren't they!!?? You bet. $49. But I'm being offered the discount rate, b/c it's normally $99! Sweet, I feel better already. They just saved me $50!!!!

I innocently, calmly, and politely ask 3rd rep why I would do that when I can just cancel my service and get cable or DirectTV and they will gladly set me up for free? He thought I had a good point, but asked me to call DishNetwork first if I decided to cancel and give them the opportunity to fix the problem to my satisfaction. That's funny, I could have sworn that I was talking to DishNetwork!?

3rd rep seemed to miss the sublety of what I was saying here. So I more bluntly, yet still as friendly as a peanut butter cookie, told him that I was talking to DishNetwork right now and that if they had nothing to say more than a $49 service call, I'd almost guarantee it that my next call would be to cancel. He thought that sounded rational, and one more time just asked me to call Customer Service first, to give them another chance. I had to love 3rd rep at this point.

So anyway, probably getting rid of DishNetwork in the morning.

Kumbaya...

"The sage has no mind of his own.
He is aware of the needs of others."

--Forty-nine, Tao Te Ching

What's that have to do with this post? Nothing, just thought it sounded cool and groovy. Or I guess I could make it have something to do with this post, seeing as I have no idea what I'm going to type about anyway.

Was Jesus really the Earth's first punk rocker. He stepped onto the stage, grabbed the mike, and just told the Establishment that he didn't really care what they had to say as long as they went against what he believed in. He told them that many of their ideas were bogus and he wasn't interested. Then he stole some attention, offered a rest to the weariness that many felt, and they killed him for it. Nothing new there though; that's what we humans do with the good ones: we kill them. They threaten to steal power, so we 'turn off' that threat, is that how it goes? And I'm just referring to the World-at-large here, and not anyone in particular. MLK, Malcolm only after he turns to peace from violence, John Lennon, Ghandi, even Old Yeller. But seriously, Ghandi? Yeah, bad dude, we better get rid of him and his insolent malevolence.

A quick, and not so easily answered question I have: why can't Jesus come back and administer the beat down that is deserved? They say it's b/c we have free will, and need to make our own choices, but I want some Divine clarification on what is bad and what is good. Or I need a better explanation as to why Christians - and if you believe in their offering then you must also understand that this goes for every human born - must freely choose to do right if it really exists. Why can't the God of the Universe just come down and set us all straight? Why?

Let's try this again.......

Well, it's a new year, officially. I guess we're calling this 2006. Funny thing is....I pretty much feel the same as I did two days ago. Weird.

New Year's Eve was cool. Drank champagne all day, had parents over for steak and potatoes, and then my mom finished up the evening by detailing my grandmother's cancer. Way to set the mood, Mom. I felt similar to how I felt after seeing "Munich" yesterday. Good movie, kind of a downer though. And I guess the Jews, or Israel, aren't all that happy with Spielberg now. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I'm going to try and weigh in with my Jewish freinds and get some consensus.

What else? I'm re-reading the "Tao Te Ching" as it was in "A Million Little Peices." And, now I'm somehow obsessed with finding out how factual AMLP is. Should I care? Probably not. Do I? Yes. Weird. Also ordered "My Friend Leonard."

Progress Report

I've never really been too big on New Year's Resolutions, and this year isn't looking like things are going to change much. But, for some reason the changing of the year does help to mark a spot. Meaning possibly that though nothing really changes empirically, maybe it's a good opportunity to reflect and make some minor adjustments.

Having said that, here is a quick report on things I've been working on changing this year:

Excercise: C-
-the year up until November was great. Had I continued I was at a B+, maybe even A-. But for the last two months the activity has dropped to zero. I'll have to ratchet that up in 2006.

Job Search: C
-anyone who hasn't heard me say that I was going to get a new job in 2005 wasn't within earshot. But I did get my resume tuned up, so things are moving in the right direction, just at a snail's pace.

Gambling: A-
-all gambling activity has stopped, and that is a huge positive, but there's always room for improvement, hence the minus sign.

Drinking: B
-drinking until the holiday season was lessened to Thursday through Sunday, and I pretty much stuck to that. Noticeable changes were increased energy.

Reading: B+
-starting reading again. I like to read. I am a good reader.

Guitar: F
-although I will pick up my guitar here and there, I have failed miserably at playing this instrument.

Photography: B
-i took hundreds of photos, but more needs to be done in terms of educating myself in the digital world.

Ideas for 2006 include a new job, better physical, mental, and spiritual health, general happiness, and of course, that ineffable something that I just can't quite put my finger on....

Xmas, the Aftermath....

213 glasses of red wine later....
6,107 peices of chocolate ingested...
numerous meals, mid-meal snacks, limited to almost non-existent physical activity coupled with frequent napping....
TV, movies, sodas, burgers and more....
Yup...this is what I've morphed into.

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

It's 6:34 PM two days before Christmas.
I have yet to buy one gift.
I work all day tomorrow and am supposed to find a way to meet my family for dinner at 5 PM even though they live an hour (w/out traffic) north of LA.
Then I drive back to LA, so I can wake up at 4 AM the next day to drive to Phoenix where I will hook up with more family (in-law family) that I have not bought gifts for.
It's 6:36 PM and I'm drinking a Newcastle, eating Wheat Thins, and blogging.
I am Bryan, and I am a procrastinator.

Que Te Vaya Bien

This mural is actually on display in the Denver airport. Not only do I just find it out of place in an airport, but I'm also just a little bit irritated that a city would use it's money to buy this. And the way the world seems to be working, I'll take a chance and say it wasn't cheap.

I'm reading this book by James Frey called "A Million Little Peices." Apparently it's on Oprah's Book Club, but don't let that scare you. It's really good, if you like a story about a 23 year old Drug and Alcohol addict who is making what is most likely his last attempt to stay alive by checking into a Treatment Facility. His writing style is different; more stream of consciousness than orchestrated prose, but it's refreshing and keeps a good pace.

I was discussing addiction the other day with someone, and it was this person's opinion that we all have addictions. I never really thought of it that way. Rather I thought that many people might have addictions, but not all. So I've been thinking about it a little, and I'm not sold, but the percentage of people that I would have thought had addictions did increase. I think I'd have to say that most people do have addictions.

addiction - (n.) The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something.
this is definition 2 a. from Dictionary.com

from wikipedia - Addiction is a compulsion to repeat a behavior regardless of its consequences.

I like the second description better for some reason. Although it does seem that it would then not include workaholics, or more generally anyone involved in behavior in which the consequences were positive or desired. Not that the consquences of workaholics is positive but it usually desired by such people (for whatever crazy reason).

Actually the more I think about it, I like to think of addiction as some behavior which allows us to escape from things that bother us. Some repeated activity that lets us get away. Eating, television, drugs and alcohol, work, being an asshole, being Mother Teresa, talking, etc.

I don't drink tea very much, but I find it very soothing to do so. Yet everyday, without fail I drink coffee in the morning. If I don't, I will be irritable. I used to have to drink it to wake up, but now I'm pretty used to being awake at the same time. So the coffee isn't needed anymore to get me started. But if I skip it, which I would and have only done to try and not drink it, I become cranky and will get headaches. Weird, huh? I know of a beverage that soothes me and I rarely drink it, and I know of another that I drink b/c I have to, or else the world will suffer.

I gotta start drinking more tea and less coffee...

p.s. This guy thinks we're all addicted.

Blog Help

I've got a few questions here and I'm hoping someone can help. I know that no one really reads this blog but I'm hoping that a real blogger might stumble here by accident and provide me with a useful boost. I've tried the help section, but mostly what is there are answers to questions that my Cocker Spaniel can figure out. I don't really have a Cocker Spaniel, and I'm not really looking to obtain one either, so for those of you who haven't finalized your Christmas gift to me, please consider a nice set of Pings, or possibly a street-legal Dune Buggy.

1. Why does my blog run down the middle of the page, leaving inches of space on both left and right margins? It has been answered to change the Template, but that seems weird.

2. Everytime I change my template, I lose any links I've set up. Also, to my dismay, SiteMeter has been kicked out with the last change as well. When I changed the template I copied the code from the old blog, then pasted it to the new one, but I still lost the links, and that other thing.

3. What's the best way to add photos if I want to add them as a link? Any advice on what site will allow the most bandwidth and storage capacity, ease of use, and hopefully free? Right now I have stuff at Shutterfly and Flickr.

4. How come I can't drink beer for a living?

5. The guys above are The Brothers Sarkisian, and they are not to be messed with. I know they look peaceful eating there little ice creams together, but have you ever heard of Scarface? He's a nice fluffy vagina compared to these guys.

6. A.T., check under "LINKS" on the right hand side and click on "Some Photos." It's the only time I've used Shutterfly, but they allowed me to upload as many photos, with no size limit that I could see (photos averaged 2 MB) for free. The downside was that I had to upload the photos one at a time. Flickr allowed me to upload them in bunches, but they have a 20 MB limit per month if you register for free. Free is for me. So why not just upload smaller versions of the photos? I do that here b/c I only do one photo per post. I don't want to have to resize a bunch of photos to upload them to a site. Does Photoshop have a way to resize a series of photos? Or does any other program have that capability?

Traded in my Civic

How do you like my new mode of transportation? Sure it's harder to take my loving customers out to lunch since I traded in a four-door compact sedan for this little style-beast with only room for one atop the rear fender. So, sure...what's your point? And since when did I love my customers? All aboard!!!!

Yellow has always been my favorite color. It's mellow...and when loco gringos make fun, I just laugh maniacally. Did I just spell that correctly?

So tomorrow is the end of another work week, and I'm ready for Friday afternoon. This year Christmas has really worn me down. Every year it takes it's toll, and it's not like I do much, so I can't really pin the tail on the donkey on this one, but I'm beat. We got no tree; no real holiday parties to speak of; no Christmas shopping and spending as I actually am the Grinch who Stole Christams. So why??? Don't know. I just know that I'm ready for January 2006. And as usual, no specific resolutions, but I do resolve to try and be better. Excercise more, eat better, call my Mom more often, be nicer at work, you know, that stuff.

My Bank and Good Nutrition

My Conversation with the Bank Teller today:

Teller: Why don't you have a savings account with us?
Me: Because you charge for it.
Teller: No we don't.
Me: Without a minimum balance of X dollars you do.
Teller: No, we don't.
Me: Really??
Teller{smugly}: Really. You just need to put at least $25 from your checking into your savings every month.

I didn't continue at this point, but that sounds a lot like a minimum balance to me. Also, she was nice, but did she need to get all touche on me? I loved the second "No, we don't" aka "I've won the argument you fool even though we do require a minimum balance we just restructured the deal to confuse your moronic mind."

Another reason I don't have a savings account with my bank is that I use every available penny I slave for to pay down debt with carries an interest rate of at least 10%. The gracious savings rate at my bank.....0.5%. Stunning, isn't it?

Hey, Mrs. Bank, I'll give you $1,000 to loan out to people at variable rates and you can pay me $5. Yippeeeee!!!! What does $5 even buy these days? My trip to Baja Fresh the other day put me back $6, and I didn't even get a drink. Just a burrito. $6. So I guess I'd have to let my bank borrow more than $1,000 for a year to get a free burrito from Baja Fresh. No drink though, better bring a can of soda with me.

So we all know that I'm not an economist, but let me tell you what I think is happening. The banks are getting really, really, really rich and the American people are getting really, really, really poor. We just don't know it yet. Everyone cashing in the equity on their homes to buy crap and artificially inflate the GDP seem to think this is free money. That's supposed to be your savings vehicle, not the 0.5% savings rate. How did this rate get so low? Seriously, if it's all relative, then how much lower can it go? Well, only about a fraction less that 0.5% I think, or the bank conversation might sound like this:

Teller: I noticed you don't have a savings account with us?
Me: You don't actually pay any interest so there is no incentive for me.
Teller: Well, sir, technically you might be correct, but you still don't have a savings account with us. So there!

Shizzle

I'm hungry. Where is my wife?

Weekends Were Made for Michelob?

Does Michelob actaully sell beer? I'm sure they do, but compared to Budweiser, Coors, Sam Adams, etc., I can't specifically remember the last time I drank a Michelob or saw someone purchasing some Michelob in the store. Let me check my resources.................................okay, this is sort of gay. But the www.michelob.com requires you to enter your birthday before entering the site??

Couple quick questions:
1. Do you have to be 21 to enter an alchohol-related website?
2. If I'm under 21, and I enter my correct birthday, what happens?
-Answer: you're directed to the Anheuser-Busch Adventure Parks page. Again...gay.
3. If I'm under 21, but I enter a fake birthday which gives me the cyber-appearance of being over 21, what happens?
-Answer: you get right in just like I did with my fake ID at 19.

"Well, I'm so excited to have finally turned 21, now I can get into Michelob.com."
--quote that will never be overheard.

Not really sure why I'm worried about Michelob, it's probably pretty tasty. Afterall, if I'm going to drink a Bud, or a Coors Light, then I'm pretty sure it doesn't get worse than that. I actually remember buying "Beer" in college, and it wasn't all that bad. That level of beer is all the same if you ask me.

In summary, beer is good. We like to drink beer. Possibly this point was missed as it was subtle, but the word "gay" is not used by me to refer to homosexuality or anything related to it. Similary (this just goes for me), the word "fag" does not refer to a homosexual male, but the term "fag hag" does in fact describe a woman who hangs out with gay men.

What's a "fag" then? It refers to a guy who wants to know what it means. Seriously, is this what you want to know? If so, you're definitely "gay."

It's On

Big Time has been acheived. I just added Site Meter to this blog. Not only can I store my kooky thoughts and silly pictures on someone else's computer, but now I can see how many people visit my site! Can you feel the energy? Wait....listen. That's it, it may be distant, and only a buzz, but it is a buzz. Yeahhhhhh................

Giving My Thanks

Just got back from Tahoe. Temps were in the 20's at the coldest point, so not too bad, but not too warm either. Friday night we went out with my two sisters and their dudes, leaving the kids at home with the grandparents. So we all got pretty good and primed, and just before I let my brother-in-law talk me into a Fatburger with a fried egg inside at 12:30 a.m., I clearly remember a few of the guys swearing that, though the lake was cold (purportedly 40 degrees for about the first few feet with a rapid fall off in temp. thereafter), we were definitely going in tomorrow. "You going in? Yeah? Me too, definitely! I know it's cold, but it can't be that cold. And then we can just haul up to the jacuzzi." Yeah, perfect plan sponsored in part by Tecate, red wine, cold sake, Saporro, Red Bull, Vodka, Gin, cigarettes, and testosterone.

I didn't quite make it into the lake the following day. We had bigger cattle to catch that day my friends. It was my grandma's 80th birthday, so we did what everyone does for that ocassion; we planned a ho-down, a square dance, a party cowboy style.

Happy Thanksgiving?

The antique desk/fake-out Baker's Rack is sold. Sorry, suckers, you snooze, well, you get properly rested and most likely make great decisions thereafter...

I was too lazy to mention in my previous post, that the ticket referred to (that had been overturned for my girlfriend/now wife) was reversed b/c we had been mistakenly (oh sure, like I'm going to believe that this happens) ticketed in our neighborhood by local Parking Enforcement Superpowers (and super intelligence). So let's recap:

1. We pay taxes
2. We pay additionally to park in our own neighborhood where we pay taxes (these aren't add'l permits for visitors).
3. The crack squadron of Parking Enforcement has on more than one occasion written a ticket for not having a permit when one is glued to the spot that the neo-Gestapo requires.
-quick editorial note: The permits cost money, and they demand that you place them on your vechicle via a glue which renders them impossible to be removed. Most do this obediently; some do not. I, as a sheep who tried to jump the wall but was struck down, obey and have placed our permits in designated locations. I have also verified with my banking institution that funds in the predetermined amounts have been withdrawn from my account.
4. My wife and I, as tax-paying residents, are only allowed to receive one mistake from P.E. per year between the two of us.

Does this seem fair? I'm not complaining. Just curious. Either it seems that it's unfair to tax-paying residents, or it's unfair to the City. Maybe my next infraction should require I come and make sandwiches for the boys. After that, maybe a day of scrapping gum? I'm not really sure.

Yep, that's my toilet!

Isn't she beautiful? Can't you just feel the loyalty? Always there when I need her, always coming through in the clutch. No back talk, no disapproving looks or wacky emotional swings. Kind of like a dog I suppose, but hasn't taken a shit in my closet yet. As a matter of fact, apparently the reverse is true.

Okay, just gotta say this quickly. OJ criminal trial verdict: Not Guilty. Civil trial verdict: Guilty. Robert Blake criminal trial verdict: Not Guilty. Civil trial verdict: Guilty. What in the F is going on? The burden of proof is lessened in the Civil trial? Is it b/c the plaintiffs can never seem to collect any cash from these people as they're "broke," yet seem to survive on untouchable $25k/month pensions, and other b.s. like that?

Well, I'm pissed off here! I always pay my tickets and other revenue generators for the State and local municipalities. Always; I just believe it's right. And on 2 separate occasions I received bogus tickets.

"No big deal," I thought. "I'll just explain the situation and the rational person on the other end of the conversation will be able to clearly see what is right, and the ticket will be reveresed."

Correction, make that 3 times (just remembered a time from 1988). so, what has transpired? Oh, just your standard, run-of-the mill, waste my time and effort and then say "no" in the end. "Oh, okay, thank you."

Seriously. I had a parking ticket person give me a ticket in my neighborhood for not having a permit, when I have a permit that I pay for right on my fucking bumper.

Ticket division: "You can only have one ticket reversed per year, per household."
My Answer to this nonsense: "Perfect! I haven't had a ticket reversed."
T.D.: "Actually, you had one reversed 9 months ago."
Me: "No I didn't."
T.D.: "License plate blah-blah-blibbidy blab did."
Me: "That's my girlfriend's car, and she has her own permit. We pay for two permits."
T.D.: "You can only have one ticket reveresed per year, per household."
Me{blushing b/c the T.D. girl is a cute beast of understanding and kindness}: "What!!!??????"
T.D.: "Those are the rules. Next!"

Shithouse. Someone, please let me go back to my home planet.....

Get busy livin' or....

Brooks from Shawshank said it best, "The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry." I mean seriously, I'm down at MacArthur park, trying to score, and the damn dealers won't even slow down they're so busy making money. Capitalist bastards.

Speaking of Capitalism, I'm trying to get rid of some junk....er, furniture out of my living room. In the past, my junk has literally flown off the shelf. It's been even easier than making brownies. Step 1, digital photo. Step2, Craigslist posting. Step 3, have buyer come get crap. Easy, right? Well, not with the latest round of goodies.

Here's what I've got: a faux-antique desk that resembles a baker's rack, and weighs exactly a fun-loving 4,ooo lbs. In addition to this necessity, we're trying to liquidate (yeah capitalism!) our coffee table and his two matching end table buddies. Please, have a heart, they need homes too! The tables actually look pretty cool, but it's glass, which I'm not really into. Here are a couple of photos, and maybe, just maybe, nah....forget about it. Unless you want to? Let me know....




Now of course I'm kidding. I would never use this space of creativity and freedom to start peddling my wares. Come on, now! You knew that. But if you've got cold, hard cash and can pick it up immediately, call me anytime, day or night.

Lastly, my feng shui is way off. You might of felt something, I know Yoda did.

Yes!!!

Now I know what it was like when the first settlers finally reached Malibu after months of dragging their cricketedly-ass wagons full of all their crap through the smorgasbord of weather that we call the Great U.S. of A. Let's not get all wise and ask why I don't write this stuff down, because I just don't. Okay? But I just spent the last 15 minutes trying all sorts of combos of possible usernames and passwords trying to access my blog. I started to think it was another internet conspiracy. You know the one where Al Gore is at home, in full control of the whole internet, sitting on the couch in his tightie-whities sipping a Natty Lite, and snickering like the bastage his is (for all you A.G. fans, he's really not a bastage, just a typical politician, maybe St. Peter will still let him in, but I doubt it). And then it hit me. Yep, I'm dumb.

Anyhow, today was {spelled out} b-i-t-c-h-i-n, bitchin'!! No? Clear sky in L.A., not too hot, not too cold, everyone is at work, except for the 10M unemployed actor/singer/models, and I'm at the beach. Had breakfast at some cafe in Venice. Today was just too much, so I cooly and patiently waited to start snapping photos. Just like in college, when I used to tease and tempt the available women, until, whoops....it's 2 a.m., I can't see straight nor put together a sentence and I'm left at the party with a bunch of other cool losers, no women, and no ride home. But unlike then, today I'm a much more mature gentleman, so when the right moment hit, like in college when the cute, sexy, intelligent girl was at least making eye contact and kinda smiling at me, I grabbed up my camera, ripped off the lens cover and .....whoa, bitchnuts!?!? A huge "E" was laughing at me from the LCD screen. Translation: no memory card. I guess some things never change. How many times in college did I say "uh, hold on, I'll be right back." Only to return much too late for the cute, sexy, intelligent girl.

Still a day that makes up for all the misery that is Los Angeles.

Especially cool sidenote - drove up the coast, sheet glass at all breaks, and waves no bigger than my kneecap. This is especially cool b/c I don't surf.

"Hey, wait a minute." - S.S.

I just recalled the dude I chatted with at Zero's for about fifteen minutes, but actually, now that I think about it, I'm way too tired. Maybe tomorrow....

Breakfast

I just had 4 whole wheat waffles from Trader Joes, 1 multi-vitamin, and 1 glass of water (most likely in the neighborhood of 16 ozs.). I guess the 'goodness' hasn't kicked in yet, b/c I still feel like I did before my breakfast....

Today's menu includes errands, reading, photos, procrastination on the Information Superhighway, a nap is probably going to happen at some point, maybe a little excercise?

Things I should do today but almost definitely will not do: wax my car, catch up on overdue correspondences (why do today, what I can do tomorrow?), feed the hungy, shelter the homeless, work on improving my situation, or get a haircut.

Back from Beaver Creek

I love visiting places in the off season. They really should consider charging more. For my honeymoon, we went to Costa Rica at either the tail end or the very beginning of the rainy season. Did it rain. Every day as far as I can remember. But then I didn't go to Costa Rica to check out the sunny weather, I'm from SoCal damnit. Plus Costa Rica rain is not bad. Most of the time you're under this really thick jungle, so not much comes down. At least nothing my water-repellent jacket and a hat could't handle. I still wore shorts.

So, Beaver Creek in the off season. What was it like. Sort of like being in "The Shining" but the resort was closed for the summer. No one on the streets. First night we had to ask where an open restaurant was. Answer: The Dusty Boot. It was a bar, with bar food. And it was a glorious bar. We had beer, and split amonst the three of us a chicken quesadilla, breaded fish tacos, a cheeseburger and fries. Now tell me, what else do I need?

Our condo was plush, never could've afforded that. Thanks Ana and thanks Rich! We had 3 bedrooms, and 3 bathrooms. Again, we had 3 bedrooms, but we actually had 4 TV's? We had free coffee 24/7 in the lobby, which also served up some tasty red and green apples. Again, this was 24/7. My kinda place. This trip was great and I could keep babbling, but I won't, mainly b/c I need to go visit the 'office.' But I will leave you with this: I had a $50 glass of cognac (again, thanks Ana!!!), and I must say, "Yes, Please." I might prostitute myself in order to be able to afford such luxury in the future.

Of course, this pretty much sums it all up for me....

Goin' Colorado...

....with an achin' in my heart. Lived my life with a woman unkind......no wait, that's not entirely accurate. I do leave for a few days in Beaver Creek today at high noon, but the woman is actually quite kind. Come to think of it, she bought my plane ticket and has taken care of my food and lodging once I get there. What a nice lady. She's real purty too!

Say What?

This guy had a cheeseburger for dinner, and a shake too I believe. I ordered Ms. Meatloaf, which is made of Turkey as opposed to the manly, all-American beef originated, Mr. Meatloaf. I also had a vanilla shake, and a glass of Shiraz. So Ms. Meatloaf shows up, and it's a sandwhich? Now, I'm often late to catch up on cool ideas, but I've been a resident of this country for 35 years, and a meatloaf sandwich?? A turkey, meatloaf sandwhich, called Ms. Meatloaf? Whatever, it was good.

The point of my blog though is this. The guy, pictured here, TS had just driven down from the Bay Area and stopped in Kettleman City for lunch, and had ate at my all-time favorite fast food establishment, In-n-Out Burger. So what? Two burgers, one day. Of course, I used to get bullied into eating two Big Macs at a time when I was in college, but this seems different. Two burgers, never grill mates or pan buddies, went down the hatch and most likely, however distasteful this may sound, exited as one. Kind of like a sausage I suppose. From miles apart, to be squeezed out together. Interesting.

But here's where things get weird. TS is celebrating his 35th birthday the next day and has decided to quit smoking. A good decision I believe. So to help him, I take a couple of smokes out of his possession so he has fewer to smoke. I know ladies, how thoughtful, but I'm taken. Now my true genius, though rusty, but not dead, shines through....a photo! A photo of a man taking his last cigarette. Well, not really his last, but we're in Hollywood, so we can bullshit a little, right? So I light a smoke. TS lights a smoke. We line up our shot. Click! And it couldn't be better. Until I check out the pics the next day. The bastard hid his smoke! So now I have a pic of me and TS, and it looks like I'm the only one smoking. You don't believe me? Check it out....